Some people sometimes put us in such a position that we are forced to say no. Others should not drive us into a corner so that there is no other option but refusal. But sometimes it happens.
In situations like this, it’s helpful to be able to say “no.” When our goodwill is called upon, we can consider our capabilities and desires. If you have to say “no”, it means that there is little or no choice.
We share tips that will teach you to refuse. All of them are from the book “NO – always NO”.
Why are we afraid to say “no”
Once in a while you can manage without words: activities represent us. Research shows that individuals don’t regularly utilize “no” when requested something. Most likely you have ended up saying “Gee …” or “All things considered, I don’t have the foggiest idea” rather than “no”, or even totally quietly shrug your shoulders. These are altogether various types of dismissal.
Researchers affirm: we can accurately unravel such motions and expressions, regardless of whether “no” didn’t sound. A great many people can perceive dismissal in non-verbal communication. In any case, some neglect to do as such. Everybody has various capacities, and some experience issues deciphering non-verbal signals.
The illustration here and below is from the book “NO is always NO”
5 ways to say “no”
Once, but powerfully
To increase your chances of understanding, say “no” clearly. You can at the same time bring your hand forward as if fencing off. If the person keeps asking, say “no” to each of his lines.
Think about how to call for help if you are not being listened to, or move to a crowded place. If you are begged over the phone, you can say no, end the call, or block the person.
Catch a phrase and beat back
You can rehash everything you have been said and add “no”. For instance: “I realize that you need to go out to see the films with me, however I would rather not. Then, at that point, no”. This is the way you show that you comprehend the solicitation and return it to the individual inquiring. Show that the individual is heard, and illuminate him regarding your longing. In the event that the circumstance is protected and you’re in the state of mind, you can add a hint of humor.
Sometimes a joke relieves tension and helps everyone back down. This is especially useful if “no” has already been said, but the person refuses to hear you. If you search the Internet for “funny ways to refuse”, you will get a lot of answers (it seems that the problem is actual). Here’s a funny example: “I talked to my lawyers and they said no, so I’m sorry.”
In the event that the individual is controlling your responsibility, take a stab at exchanging places with them. Suppose you hear: “Assuming you are my companion …” or then again “On the off chance that you adored me (a) …” Turn what is going on near and answer something very similar: “Assuming you were my companion (sweetheart), you would not be unconcerned with my cravings.” Remember that affection and kinship are in words, yet in addition in deeds. To think often about assent, about the willfulness of activities – this is love. Compelling others to do what they don’t need isn’t love.
Prepare an answer
Try to pick up a saying or aphorism in advance. For example, you can just say “I’m sorry (not sorry).” Find a suitable expression and practice saying it so that it is as easy for you as “Hmm” or “I don’t know.”
stand your ground
If people act completely unreasonably, you need to firmly rebuff them. Here is a plan of action in case you have to be persistent:
- Say that the person is behaving disgustingly (that he does not hear your refusal).
- Say how you feel about it (frightened, annoyed, sad, disappointed).
- Say what you want from this person (so that he hears you or stops).
- Say what will happen if he doesn’t.
No one has the right to break our boundaries
There is nothing good in the fact that other people try to hurt us and breakthrough our boundaries. And, although rejection puts us in an uncomfortable position, learning a decisive “no” is very useful.
Remember, when you say “no,” you are saying “yes” to yourself. And it gives you back control of your life. And one more thing: even if you failed to say “no”, no one can force you to act against your will. This kind of pressure is not normal.
No one should put you in a situation where nothing but failure remains. If this happens, the other person is wrong, not you.
How to accept rejection
If they refuse you, try to hear the person, acknowledge his decision, and do not try to convince him. “Come on, come on …”, or “Well, you really want to!”, Or “Can’t you do such a small thing for me?”, Or “If you loved me (a), would you agree ( es) ”- there is no respect for the other here. There are only attempts to put pressure on his sense of guilt or duty and deprive a person of the right to choose. It is unacceptable.
Based on the book “NO – always NO” .
Cover of the article: illustrations from the book.